I don't believe Covid-19 was started by bats. I think chickens got together and came up with an elaborate plan not to be eaten, ala Chicken Run, then blamed it all on the bats. We have no nuggets. Since like July time. Because of Covid. Because of the chicken conspiracy. People are coping okay with … Continue reading The Great Chicken Nugget Shortage of 2020
Covid-19 hit us here in March 2020, everything closed down and life got even quieter than usual. I opted not to work from home knowing I would never get anything done there so travelled into work each day. On about day five I started to notice something weird was happening with my car playlists. Music … Continue reading The Pandemic Playlist
The Rimba Monkey About a month or so ago a lone male monkey started using our roof and balcony to get from one side of the estate to the other. At first we were a bit wary because the last monkey that wandered the estate on its own turned vicious when the people who were … Continue reading Oh monkey, you’re so pretty
Today I had the absolute joy of talking to 40 junior school children about stand-up comedy. As a counsellor I also wanted to get across the idea that it is okay to make fun of ourselves and the embarrassing things we do. Learning to laugh at themselves will come in handy when they hit middle … Continue reading Flying Penguins
Alcohol is integral to the lives of many Westerners. Northern Europeans especially love binge drinking and telling tales that start with "I was mortal...". We use it to celebrate when we are happy and to drown our sorrows. People get paralytic at weddings. People get paralytic at funerals. Had a bad day? Have a beer. … Continue reading Going Dry in January.
"Do you get beaten up often?" I absentmindedly asked the middle aged Chinese taxi driver as we rumbled through the overly Christmassy Singapore. A look of what I like to think was bemusement, flashed across his face as he sized me up - an equally middle aged, but smaller white woman in the back seat, … Continue reading Anxious in Singapore
I (started to) write this while sitting in airport number 1 of the 4 I travel through before I get back to Newcastle. This first one is Brunei - then Kuala Lumpur - then Heathrow - then finally, Newcastle. It being Brunei there is no alcohol served in the airport so I've eaten a lasagne … Continue reading Airports.
I always had ambitions to travel. I remember being young and my parents (while they were still together) taking us to places while they tried to get visas for Australia. Aged 11, I remember my mam talking about nurses who'd emigrated to Saudi Arabia who earned a fortune working for people who had gold taps … Continue reading How I ended up on a dot in the middle of the Pacific
Kuala Lurah is an interesting place. It's like the Asian version of the wild west. In Brunei it is illegal to gamble. To buy alcohol. To sell cigarettes 1km from a school. From where I live it is a 40 minute drive to the Malaysian border; to Kuala Lurah. The nearest town after the border … Continue reading The time I got more than I bargained for at the Malaysian border…
Everytime I appear in anything for Bruhaha Comedy I'm still left wondering how on earth this happened! And why on earth does my voice sound like that?!