I drove in Phuket today.

It was like being in a computer game. Your mission: ensure a cheery disposition at all times by singing to music illegally downloaded from YouTube in the 2000s, and NEVER honk your horn while avoiding the following:

white bearded topless men on scooters wobbly weaving in and out of traffic pretending they’re modern day Vikings

the locals on scooters carrying babies and 7 weeks worth of shopping

the pick up trucks who suddenly swerve to avoid the above

random soi dogs fancying their chances biting scooter wheels and ankles

random very old people fancying their chances slowly running across the motorway

illegal u-turners

everyone & their cat parking in, and opening their doors on the inside lane of the motorway

construction workers resetting the roads with hot tarmac with a cigarette hanging out of their gobs & no hardhats

chickens. lots of chickens

getting distracted by the glamorous massage parlor girls…

Oh and red lights don’t actually mean stop and driving up the wrong side of the road into oncoming traffic is perfectly acceptable.

I liked it