This is Not How I Die & Other Stupidity


Took the dog for a cycle.Knackered him out.Put him in the front seat of the van.Open the boot.Put keys and dog leash in boot.Take wheel off bike.Panic cos I’m loosening the wrong oneTry to put the back wheel on without screwing up the gears.Take front wheel off.Put bike in van.Dog jumps out of boot.Runs away.Shut…

Monkeys are Bastards.

And sometimes you have to think about how to best survive a monkey attack while being unable to keep a straight face and only holding a wine glass… A podcast from a little while back

Blown Away

This is Majuro International Airport. Yes, it is that close to the sea. I remember when we flew into it after 3 days of travelling to the Marshall Islands, looking out of the plane window and only being able to see water as we landed. It was like we were Jesus – which is kind…

Driving in Phuket

I drove in Phuket today. It was like being in a computer game. Your mission: ensure a cheery disposition at all times by singing to music illegally downloaded from YouTube in the 2000s, and NEVER honk your horn while avoiding the following: white bearded topless men on scooters wobbly weaving in and out of traffic…


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About Me

Hi, I’m Aylssa. This is not me, although according to a Singaporean Customs Officer I do resemble Mr Bean’s girlfriend. I was chuffed when they told me that. I’m from Newcastle but ran away in my 30s and am now pottering around South East Asia.

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